What do you say when one of your team members asks you to keep something confidential? There’s a dangerous workplace situation that all leaders and managers find themselves drawn into from time to time. I call it the “confidential complaint” trap.

This happens to me when I’m working with leadership teams. Someone will stop me in the hall during a break and say, “May I talk to you for a minute, NOT in the room with the group?”

There’s a natural inclination to say yes to this kind of request. As leaders, we all want to be approachable. We may also want to find out what’s going on inside our organization. But promising blanket confidentiality for run-of-the-mill complaints can be a dangerous slope because it is diametrically opposed to creating a healthy workplace culture.

One of my clients was chomping at the bit to document their core processes – especially their HR process. They were a family-owned business and their turnover was holding back their profitability. They believed a robust HR process would reduce turnover and help increase profits.

So I taught them the three-step EOS^® method to document their process. They created a rock for it, and got to work. But there were problems.

Landings can be one of the most challenging parts of flight. This is especially true when the weather gets bad, i.e., low clouds, reduced visibility, rain, thunderstorms, snow or turbulence.

The missed approach is a standard procedure used when a landing cannot safely be made. When this happens, the same steps are performed in sequence, every time: apply full power, climb to a specific altitude, navigate to a designated “fix” and then enter a holding pattern before initiating “Plan B.”

When things go wrong during this critical phase of flight, it’s reassuring to know there is a procedure in place to make sure the flight ends safely. In other words, there is a plan for the unplanned.

Every session with one of our Leadership Teams starts with what we call the “Check In,” which generally consists of several questions that help us transition from working “in” our business to working “on” our business. One question is always, “What are your expectations for today?”

I check in after each member of the Leadership Team is done. And my ongoing expectation is always, “Please be open and honest – just say it.” And this is one of the most difficult behaviors for a Leadership Team to exhibit – for lots of reasons.

“But Jim, I completely disagree with the decision. How can you expect me to support John’s decision and commit to it when I think it’s wrong?”

“Tom”, I replied, “I’m not asking you to agree with John. I’m asking you to do the greater good – to be unified as a leadership team in all the decisions that are communicated to others. Especially the ones we don’t all agree on.”

I hadn’t quite won Tom over. Julia noticed, and jumped in.